Beth

Recently I have been speculated as a liar. Well, let me rephrase that. I was in a situation where because I didn't speak up sooner, that means I lied. Does that make me a liar? Or does it just mean that I didn't speak up? Now for this situation, there was no "right time" to speak up. In fact it was not my place to speak up to begin with. But because the situation concerned me I spoke up even though it was not my place, and now I'm speculated as a liar. Granted the chick who is mad at me has not called me a liar to my face or has said anything mean or disrespectful to me, but knowing her, I'm 99% sure that she's said something along the lines of "lying bitch."

In any case this makes my mind wander once again and now I wonder, what exactly makes someone a liar? If they withhold information did they lie? I guess it depends on the situation. Because sometimes I believe thats lying, but I guess there are situations in which it wouldn't be.

Huh. I really don't have a lot to say on this topic.

As a part of what society calls my "mental disorders," I have the tendency to fall into sad/lonely states. Personally I figured that was just being human, but lets medicate everyone so that we're drones! Anyway, I had one of those days today and I realized (yet again) how badly I want to have children. Someone who I will love unconditionally and who will (supposing I raise them good) love me unconditionally as well. Now if I were to actually talk about this to anybody today they would've been like "Ok. But not now. You're too young." Which makes me wonder, is there a time frame in which you should be having children? My mother says that a good age to have children is your late 20's early 30's. I've always thought early 20's to mid 20's, but apparently thats too young. Say you have a child when you are 35. When they are 15 and going through one of the roughest years of their lives, you'll be 50. Now I realize I'm still considered too young to have wisdom, but in my opinion, 50 year olds aren't exactly up-to-date on whats hot that month. So when their 15 year old is yelling "you just don't understand me!" and slamming their bedroom door, to me that doesn't seem very good. I feel as if having children at a younger age (not as a teenager, but not middle-aged either) is a better idea for yourself and your child as long as you are able to support the two of you (or if you have a significant other than your family).

This sort of ties into my next topic: Obesity. Now we all know and understand that America is the fattest country in the world and that we're all going to die if we don't go on diets. But don't be anorexic or bulimic because then you're disgusting. So don't be fat (because if you're just a little overweight or at a healthy weight then media calls you obese), but don't be too skinny either. Wheres the happy medium?? Is there one specific weight that you must be in order for the world to be happy? Oh but then if you are that weight then you are nothing but a conformist drone. In any case we all lose. But these are things we all know. But what I wanted to talk about was yesterday I watched a <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/24928201#24934629">video stream</a> on msnbc.com of cupcakes being banned in an elementary school. In Arlington Heights Illinois an elementary school banned children from bringing cupcakes and cakes to school on their birthdays to help prevent childhood obesity! Now this is completely insane (again, my opinion)! If you're too lazy to watch the video, their reasoning for banning the delicious treats is because they want to take the focus of birthdays off of food and onto what the meaning of a birthday is. My sister put it the best when she said "Oh, so they want the children to focus on consumerism and buy presents instead! Brilliant!" Now, whats going to happen when I have children? The angry old women of today are freaking out so bad that I believe my children are not going to be allowed to leave the house unless they are covered in bubble wrap and wearing helmets, knee pads, elbow pads, wrist pads, face guards, teeth guards, goggles, ear plugs, shin guards and if I have a boy then a cup! They will also only be able to eat healthy food. Junk food will be banned from America because people don't know what their eating limits are and wonder why they're getting fat while sitting on their ass watching Maury (which is a fantastic show if I do say so myself) and doing nothing all day. Now I realize that I, myself, am the poster child for lazy-ass people, but even I have begun exercising. Not because I need to lose weight, but because I learned that Serotonin are greatly increased with exercise.

I am fascinated by the brain and learning all about mental health and disorders and how the brain works. Last night my mother and I watched a program on television talking about the different parts of the brain and how you know when it is malfunctioning and how you can help it. Now the down side to watching these shows is that I watch it and I go "damn....according to this my brain is completely fried!" but now I'm motivated to fix that. As I said in the beginning of my blog I have what society would call a "mental disorder," but I believe it is just a phase which I need help progressing through. I'm going through depression and anxiety and this show helped me to see how exercising can be just as helpful in boosting my levels of Serotonin (which I need) as taking one of the strongest anti-depressant medications. There was a scientific study proving exactly that. They were selling some book which I don't remember what it was called, but it was written by Dr. Amen who has experience in freaking everything. I swear when the lady was introducing this man it took her about five minutes to list off his resume! This man was most certainly brilliant.

So a quick summary for you lazy-asses: When do you think is the right age to have children? Do you think that the health-conscious people are going too far? And do you believe that something as simple as exercising could be just as effective as taking an anti-depressant?

Comment. Message. Respond. Whatever. Let me know your opinion!

I decided against the important things such as news headlines and things like that and write about things for you to think about instead. Tonight, my focus is [as titled] relationships.

Dictionary.com defines relationships as "a romantic or sexual involvement." So when does the line get crossed from "just friends" to a relationship? And is there an in-between state? Like an incubation period, a time when the transition from friend to relationship status.

I don't have a set opinion as to what I believe on that topic for the pure fact that I'm unsure what a relationship is <i>supposed</i> to consist of. Does a relationship have to consist of love and affection? What if you're not in love with the person you are in a relationship with, but they make you happy and you are sexually active? And what is the point of a relationship? I believe it is to find the person who you are most compatible with to find who you will marry and start a family. But children start dating at younger and younger ages. Personally, my first "boyfriend" was when I was in the 4th grade. In fact I have had many boyfriends and I can't help but wonder why? I'm not one to believe that the person I am with is the person who I am going to marry. In fact, I avoid thinking about that. So is it pointless for me to be in a relationship? Does that mean I'm in a relationship purely for sex and affection? I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels this way.

Many people have a fear of relationships. Whether it be the commitment, the label, the responsibility, the "chain,"  or any other reason.

For example: Girl X goes to school far away, but comes home from the summer. Girl X and Boy Y have known each other for about a year now and there has always been unspoken feelings about each other. All of their friends new it as well as they have know it themselves, but never got a chance to act upon it. Now Girl X is home and the feelings have flourished. They have decided against using the label "boyfriend/girlfriend" because Girl X will be leaving in a determined amount of time, and may not come back home. So what is their relationship? Is it a relationship or a summer fling? It's obvious that both Girl X and Boy Y are genuine in their feelings and do their best to just live in the moment. But when Girl X leaves, does it just end? Which brings into question what is "it."

When I was given this situation I began to wonder, are they in love? While Girl X was away at school they hardly spoke to each other, but when they did talk both of them began to glow. Are they in a relationship? And if so, how would you define it?

Heres another example: Girl Q and Boy Z have known each other for more than 5 years. Boy Z has been chasing Girl Q for 5 years and now, Girl Q has realized that she has feelings for him. They are happy together and are beginning their relationship with everything out in the open (since they have been friends for so long, there wasn't much to talk about). But because of personal reasons, they are wary about having the label of boyfriend/girlfriend. Both have been in bad relationships previously, so it seems to me as if they are working hard to make this work out. But what does that mean?

How does one know that their feelings for a friend have evolved into feelings for a relationship? Also, when consoling somebody with relationship problems and you say to them "I hope everything works out," what does that mean? Or if you and your significant other are trying to "work things out," what does that mean? Are they trying to work things to for marriage? To what point in the relationship do you know that things are "working" again?

Another thing that has crossed my mind is whether or not you can be in love with two people. I do believe you can be, but it is a huge stress upon you. If it were me, I would feel guilty thinking about either one of the people in that sort of manner. When I fall asleep at night, I try to think about the guy who I currently have feelings for so that I don't go to sleep upset. But if you are in love (or at least have feelings) for more than one person, how would that work? If I thought about both men while falling asleep, I think I would feel incredibly guilty and upset and never get to sleep.

So all in all, how do you define a relationship? How do you  know when it is time to move from the label of a friend to the label of boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you believe things become more complicated when you give out a label? What is the point of a relationship? And what does it mean to "work things out?" Now when I ask these questions, I'm asking for the bare minimum rock bottom answer [i.e. sex is to make babies. The reason we are here is to reproduce. etc]. I understand that things get complicated once emotions are involved, but try to look past the emotion. If you've studied the brain, you'll understand me when I ask what happens when the PEA levels have sunk and what once boosted it doesn't anymore?

Thats what I thought about today. Actually I could keep going. But I figured getting into "love" would make this blog insanely long. That will be for a different sleepless night.

Leave me comments, message me, whatever. Let me know your opinions.

I always hate writing the first blog entry. In fact I hate starting a blog. Once it gets up and going then I don't mind it, but until then I feel like I need to introduce myself: Like I'm talking to a new person. Where I have to explain everything, explain who I'm talking about with backgrounds and everything, but I don't think I'm going to do that with this blog. In fact, I think I may just keep going on this as if I've been blogging here forever. Besides, I don't believe anybody actually reads my blogs anyway, so it works out well.

But what I'm going to do differently [not that you'd know] from this blog rather than others that I tried to maintain is I think I'm going to write about things that actually matter in the world. I used to be a journalist, but that stopped once my editors were douchebags. In fact, I may copy Phil DeFranco [http://www.youtube.com/user/sxephil] because he is hilarious. And I'm unoriginal. I probably wont be as consistent as Phil, but I'll do my best. Also I can't do a vlog because I don't have a good quality camera or video editor. I don't expect to be as awesome, cool or popular as him, but hey, at least I can speak my mind :-)

Oh and I'm sarcastic. Enjoy.